RESET.

I know. I know. I haven't been paying enough attention to you and you're ready to break up with me. I didn't post any sort of momentous goal-setting, new-leaf-turning, happy-2009-themed post. The inauguration I've been waiting and working eight years for came and went withOUT a slew of ecstatic rambles. I have 1,500+ photos waiting to be processed from both my California vacay and my recent trip to Atlanta. My iBook has crashed with a full hard drive and, despite my attempts at off-loading to an external drive, I've yet to own the reality of needing an entirely new laptop (that...ahem...I can't exactly afford).

Folks, I'm in a creative funk. I haven't even begun to process my photos because the whole system runs at an annoying snails pace, what with it being overly full and all. I've really missed it. I've sincerely missed tinkering with my pics and chatting with the internets. Is my lack of blogging causing this funk or is this funk causing my lack of blogging. What the hell ever. The point is that I finally broke down tonight and braved the uncooperative computer. I only managed to crank out a few edits before I felt it necessary to wax poetic on circadian rhythms......

I am not a morning person. It's just not my thing. I have incredible respect for people who beat the sun in a race toward our day, but I'm more likely to be the night owl wide awake at 3:30am. I have, at various points throughout my life, tried with conscious intention to become a morning person. I really do turn on to the idea of having my own secret space before the chaotic world whirs to life around me...but I assure you that I turn off as soon as my alarm blares.

All of that to say, I know I've truly checked into a vacation when my circadian rhythm resets. I know I've truly checked in when I am up every morning with (or before) the sun, feeling fine, plenty of energy, happy to be there, even feeling creative as I snap hundreds of photographs of this that and the other thing. It takes a while for my stressed out system to reset, but once it does, it's magic. I think that's of the most beautiful concepts in the whole world: our inherent circadian rhythm (and not just because I hear Michael Stipes soothing voice singing every time I feel the phrase roll off my tongue). The academic in me cringes at the thought of citing Wiki, but I'm about to cite Wiki nonetheless. Should you not enjoy my description of the circadian phenomenon, read more here.

Circadian rhythm, very simply, refers to the sleep-wake cycle that all life forms complete in roughly 24 hours. Have you seen flowers that open and close, leaves that turn in on themselves then fan wide open, tides that ebb and flow like clockwork, animals that sleep and wake with only the cues of the moon and sun...? Then you get the idea. Many humans, though certainly not all, have managed to screw up our most basic, instinctual rhythm with unnatural light, stress, bad habits, etc. We medicate, we try yoga, we join three different gyms, we journal, we pay therapists to listen to our angst...and guess what? All we really need is the sincere chance to reset.

Reset. Not rewind. Not pause. Full. Complete. Total. Reset. The level of stress with which I enter a vacation dictates how long it will take my system to reset, but I do always manage to reset (usually just in time to go home and screw it up again...). My most vivid memory of this powerful shift in rhythm was in Kaua'i with my girlfriends. I have never felt that grounded in my entire life and I have never felt that grounded since. We woke up when the sun came up. It didn't matter what time it was. We went to bed when the sun went down. It didn't matter what time it was. We floated about in the ocean all day and, particularly for women (don't get me started), there is no force on earth with greater healing power than the tides. I very nearly approached this same nirvana during my recent California vacation. By the last half of my trip, I felt the sun rise over and over and over. It was magical. It was healing. It was exactly what I needed. It's now a distant memory and I would give anything to find it again.

that she might have a story of herself

Nearly a year and a half ago I posted this Jennifer Michael Hecht poem. I'm now listening to Speaking of Faith on NPR and the guest is none other than Hecht. In a kind, responsive nudge from The Universe, I'm grateful to be in the right place at the right time today. I needed this.

even eve
the only soul in all of time
to never have to wait for love
must have leaned some sleepless nights
alone against the garden wall
and wailed
cold, stupefied, and wild
and wished to trade in all of eden
to have but been a child

in fact, i gather that is why she leapt
and fell from grace
that she might have a story of herself
to tell in some other place

("History" Jennifer Michael Hecht)

Penpals are hip (again)

Do you remember penpals? I associate them with elementary school and some boy living in Greece who chose to regale me with details of life in his village. Though my memories are fond, I'm fairly certain this Greek child was actually my 4th grade teacher. Seriously. I think Mrs. Hendrickson forged, with loving intent, the handful of postcards I received from my special penpal. To this day, in my mind's eye, I can see her stuffing fake letters into my cubby hole on the top shelf, right next to the backpack rack and unruly pile of red rubber four square balls.

Well guess what? Penpals are back and tres hip this time around. If you haven't been introduced already, Dear Reader, meet Postcrossing. You create a free profile, request addresses from all over Planet Earth, and send away. You can send postcards that you purchase at the corner drug store, or within the Postcrossing site you can create cards from your own photographs (which they will print and mail for you!).

As you send postcards, you receive postcards...the more you send, the more you receive. Fair enough. I've only just started the process, but my first two postcards were received today. It's already quite addicting.

So once you set up your free profile, you log into the site and register both the postcards you receive and those that you send. The site gives you postcard id codes for each piece of mail so that you can watch your Google map fill in with your comings and goings. You can also send email-style messages to your new penpal friends through the Postcrossing site. JaDD in Finland just got my card this morning. See...

Check it out.

Juggling two blogs

It's only been a few weeks since I started my second blog. I'm learning how to use my new Nikon D80 and madeleines written with light is the space I created to hold my favorite photographs that come from that exploration. I've already run into the dilemma (not a conundrum on par with world hunger, granted) of the interplay of these two blogs.

I want the photography blog to be just that, all about photography. I don't want to editorialize or clutter the photo posts with chatter. I want the images to stand alone. If people like them, they like them. If they identify with them, they identify with them. If they don't dig it, that's cool.

I want this blog, my madeleines, to remain the editorial space, as it were. It was originally created as an outlet for me to write and I want it to stay that way. What I've already noticed, however, is that some of my photos will appear on both sites. That may be repetitive for readers who follows both blogs, but again, this dilemma in perspective is mundane at best.

Unfortunately my vacation is over and I'm back at work this week...meaning that blog updates are once again at the mercy of rare free time. I still need to post about New Orleans, I have all sorts of photos from my recent trip to California, and my Flickr hasn't been updated since July 2008 (!!)......so I'll see you when I see you.

California Dreamin'

I had big plans for my California vacation, not the least of which being catching up on my blogs. Not so much. Turns out I took over 1,000 photos...but didn't post a single entry on either blog. Nor did I keep up with facebook, didn't log into gmail even once, and I certainly didn't touch my work account. It was fabulous, but now I'm feeling behind. Cest la vie.

This bird of paradise flower says it all. It was warm. It was sunny. I spent every day on the ocean. I had perfect light for those 1,000+ photos and eventually you'll see them either here or here or both. Stay tuned.