Showing posts with label denmark. Show all posts
Showing posts with label denmark. Show all posts

If I'm honest about my dreams...

On the heels of my previous posts about studying and implementing the Structural Dynamics model of Robert Fritz, I feel compelled to take a public step toward owning my desired reality, to use Fritz's term. I've been mulling over these dreams to some degree or another for years now. In fact, people who have read this blog for any length of time will already know where I'm going with this. I've eeked out bits and pieces of these dreams along the way. However, not until this moment in time have they been so clear. 

Because of my 2013 Happiness Project, since January I've been able to crystalize previously vague-ish longings. The pubic aspect of sharing on this site, versus another offline brunch convo with my besties, serves a number of important outcomes: 1) Vulnerability isn't my strong suit (says the girl with a mostly-personal blog, I know) and I need to get over myself in that regard; 2) Accountability, perceived or legitimate, to anyone other than my own thoughts; 3) Support, because I know I'm far from alone in the pursuit of bold visions; 4) Culmination of these resources outside of my elaborate Evernote folders and tags. Consider this a meta bookmark of a small fraction of the ah-ha moments I've had recently; and finally, 5) I sincerely believe that all of these resources are "the magic" - in referencing again the work of Robert Fritz:
The resolution of the tension, and the action steps needed to move toward the desired reality, will all define themselves organically simply because you're holding the tension. You have to leave room for magic. Your job is to hold tension, and then say yes.

So here's the deal: I want to live abroad (ahem, Denmark) and enjoy a creative career and travel a lot a lot a lot. I was passionate about my current career for more than a decade. To be fair, I still am passionate about it in many ways; however, I've finally accepted that it can no longer sustain me in the way I want to be sustained and engaged in my life. Between the lines: I can no longer slug out 50-hour weeks and 6 hours of meetings every day that ultimately contribute to mere incremental, non-systemic change and a 1% cost of living raise every 3 years. I need creativity. I need flexibility. I need a career that fills me up and inspires me instead of draining my energy nearly every day. I need to wake up and take photos before checking my email on my own schedule in a coffee shop in Argentina.

Huffington Post's Third Metric project has been reporting on the trend of professionals leaning back from their current careers (as opposed to the now-infamous Lean In strategy a'la Sheryl Sandberg). The premise of the Third Metric conversation: "All the talk of "leaning in" at work ignores one reality: Many people in early stages of their career want flexibility and ownership at their jobs, not just a big job title or paycheck. Is it time to stop chasing promotions, and start enjoying life?" In the video below, Kim Dinan is particularly inspiring to me. I'm already half way through her book and I only bought it last night. I also love the conversation about money near the 15:00 mark. Here's a shorter snippet of the video, only highlighting the quit-your-job-and-travel guests.




Through the internet rabbit hole of clicking and stumbling, I also came across the gorgeous video embedded below. There are so so so many blogs, people, twitter accounts, and examples of bravery and wanderlust online. It's totally overwhelming. When I really think about it, though, even before all of that was reality I remember watching Long Way Round in 2004 and Long Way Down in 2007 and thinking: I need this. My first international trip to Russia in 1996, for that matter, set it off. Why I'm only just now getting serious about it, I don't know. Regardless, my RSS feed is now stuffed with blogs and travelogues of people who have gone before and lit the way, as it were. 




But what does it actually look like to take on this dream and make it happen? What does it really mean and how do I make it work? All the artsy vimeo videos in the world won't actually get me there, so now what? I know Robert Fritz would tell me to stop focusing on The How and instead only hold tension between where I am now and where I want to be, but damn. It's difficult to not at least try and answer The How of it all. I suspect that The Wireless Generation documentary, soon to be making the festival circuit thanks to a successful Kickstarter, is a giant nudge in the right direction.




Okay, Magic, let's go down that road then. I've been saying for quite a while now that if you mashup my key passions and skills - then try to assign them to a career - it basically comes out as some version of a traveler/writer/photographer/designer.  Throw in a BA in English, a MA in Community Leadership, and 11 years as a project/program manager turned higher-ed administrator...and...okay. So. Start there. Even with a wealth of online resources to make it happen smoothly, the idea of freelancing unfortunately scares me to the point of near paralysis (clearly something I need to get over, and quickly). Paralysis in tow, I still can't shake this desire out of my system: Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel (Rolf Potts). The idea of digital nomading feels so right to me. The Life Almost Fearless blog shared a post outlining the history of this career niche. That made it feel almost doable. I've read the post like 20 times at this point. Truth be told, I really just want Andrew Evans' job. I mean, come on. National Geographic's Digital Nomad? *sigh* The inspiration is endless. 


A drop in the bucket in my sea of my RSS feeds.

Now...what can I do about all this? I suck at being idle, and I think I might have been bored once for five minutes in 1989, so this has been percolating long enough. This guy seems helpful and I'd give him my money in exchange for his nuggets of wisdom. These two make it work, and the price is right, so I'll set aside the fact that they make me feel like a grandmother and probably try their course. But even those leaps feel premature. I think I found my next step in the Matador Network, specifically Matador U. I plan to pinch my pennies and take both the travel writing and the travel photography courses. Also, similar to the crowdsourced travel guides of Matador, I've been obsessed with AFAR for a while now. I have an application in hand to become the first (and for now, only) Local Expert for Salt Lake City. There's a meta intersection with all of this and I'm just trying to say yes, yes, yes to it all. While it has felt like an organic progression to this point, I also know I need to stop thinking and researching...and just do.




Love and magic and hard work, 
me



Most Livable City in the World: Copenhagen

My obsession with Denmark marches on. During my summer trip to Iowa for my grandma's funeral, I spoke with a number of family members who are in touch with our cousins and relatives who still live there. Many of the people I spoke to have done more family history research than I've been able to do so far and I'm working on tracking down the data that I can. I still dream of an epic trip that retraces the lives of my family members and introduces me to my living Danish relatives. Until then, I watch videos like the one below, produced by Monocle, and I know that this is home...





I found my joy | Rivet & Sway

Receiving a tweet that tells you the grand prize is yours is a pretty awesome experience. What prize is that, you say? Well...

Rivet & Sway - a Seattle-based company on a mission to make glasses fun - recently launched The Joy of Specs campaign. Yes, you caught the cheeky play on words. It's an empowering campaign aimed at redefining beauty. In their own words: "The Joy of Specs is about loving the beauty, the fun, and the sexiness of being bespectacled." Cheers to that. A recent Facebook post encouraged women to "dress from the frames down" and create entire looks around the central gorgeousness of your face and specs. I love it. Glasses are wicked hot and Rivet & Sway, who designs exclusively for women by the way, is the hottest game in the market.

As part of the Joy of Specs campaign, they launched a Pinterest contest calling on women to #FindYourJoy. Whether it was your summer reading list, a backyard garden, or interior design inspiration, if it brings you joy they wanted you to pin it and spread the love.

I created a board about Denmark and the family history research I've been doing. Not only does it bring me joy to research the stories of my great great whomevers, it also brings me joy to think about traveling to and living in Denmark one day. Rivet & Sway decided they liked my joy so much that I won two free pairs of specs, y'all! They offer 2-day FedEx and you can try on three pairs in your home for free. How convenient is that? I'm sort of loving the Punchline, obsessing about the Spitfire, and Hungry Heart is pretty rad...but stay tuned! I'll post pics soon.

Also, I'm quite certain my sassy new glasses will look totally savvy in Copenhagen.

Love and sway,
me


My Declaration: Intention



The Declaration of You book tour is in full swing. If you haven't already checked out their press page, you should definitely head over there and be inspired. There are some truly awesome people making some truly awesome declarations. Today, it's my turn to discuss...


illustration by the lovely Jessica Swift.

I'm a very intentional person, if I do say so myself. I'm a hyper organized planner, goal setter, getter, and to-do list checker (not, as it turns out, the sexiest tagline for an online dating profile*). Two of the questions the lovely authors asked the book tour bloggers: "How often do you set intentions? How often do you determine what they need to be?" Following my Type-A logic thus far, I set all sorts of intentions all day long. I set intentions here, here, over here, over there, right here, not to mention the mountains of intention at work, and even my pet projects turn into part-time jobs because I take myself too damn seriously. I regularly and frequently determine what my intentions need to be and update accordingly. Then I re-color code it all, edit my hit list, and get back to work. This manner of intention has manifested an amazing career at a young age, incredible opportunities in my field with national consulting and speaking gigs, publications, home ownership, globetrotting, a graduate degree, on and on.

But guess what? And this has been an ironic lesson a long time in the making for me:  All of that intention...wasn't actually very intentional. I never associated all of my actions with the law of attraction. I was young and arrogant enough to assume that I was simply creating all of these opportunities and successes for myself. To a degree, that's true. To a greater degree, I was putting energy into the universe...and the universe was manifesting back to me exactly what I was asking for. The irony is that I didn't entirely realize and intend and decide upon and own what I was asking for. I didn't intend to ask for 60-hour work weeks. I didn't intend to ask for a sub-par romantic life because I couldn't be bothered with all those distractions. I didn't intend to ask for the airport shuttle driver to know me by name and be the friend I see most often. I didn't intend to ask for an administrative position that lacks the creativity I felt in previous roles. I was simply going going going fast on the path that young professionals "should" travel. The growing pains I'm experiencing now are due to the fact that I want to set new and different intentions for my life. Those new and different intentions are not (yet) familiar or comfortable for me. I'm figuring out how to build this plane while flying it.

As for my paradigm-shifting declaration of intention, two things have been washing over me like a giant tidal wave as of late:

Have enough trust in The Universe to set the intentions you really truly want to set. {tweet it}

These are the intentions that scare me. These are the intentions that I rarely share out loud. These are the intentions that I really truly want to set. These are the intentions into which I need to pour a whole lot of love and trust: I want to make photographs and write and travel. For a living. For real. Forever. I want to move to Denmark. I want to dabble in graphic design. I want to wake up next to a tall dark bearded feminist who wants in his life a smart and sassy partner to grow old with. I want to paint and be good at it and have people buy my paintings because they think they're pretty. I do not want to continue grinding out my days in committee meetings where we discuss the formation of committees.

Be more intentional with your intentions. Then get out of the way. {tweet it} 

I've finally, and with hesitant gratitude, hit a wall. I've left myself no choice but to give up on the idea that I'm somehow in total control of manifesting all these new intentions (an idea driven subconsciously by fear and ego, if you want the truth). I'm not in total control. I will never discount the value of doing my research and working hard, but I'm also settling into a new paradigm. I'm settling into a paradigm that finally, finally, finally realizes I need to get over myself and get out of my own way. I've believed in the take action part of intention my whole life, but I've never been good at believing The Universe will fill in the gaps. I've never been good at trusting that when I hand it over, it will eventually come back to me ten fold, or come back to me at all. I can understand the law of attraction intellectually. I know it spiritually. I've seen it happen to other people again and again. And yet letting all that fabulousness flow unobstructed through my own life scares the shit out of me. What if The Universe is on holiday and my intention memo bounces back with her out of office message? What if The Universe is busy with the far more interesting intentions of far more fabulous people all over the world? What if I've pissed off the universe by ignoring her offer to help me all these years? What if I actually get everything I want?

You know what Jen Sincero would say to all that nonsense? After she told me I'm a badass, then she would say:

Set your intention, work steadily in the direction you want to go, do all that you know how to do, believe it’s here and available to you, be diligent about how you speak, think and behave, have faith in yourself and The Universe, and then...drum roll please, this is the super important part...breathe, let it go, fuggetaboutit, give it some damn room to come in. 

Oh wait, she did say exactly that in a blog post earlier this week.

Dear Gail,  
Get out of my way. I got this.  
Love,
The Universe



The Fine Print: The Declaration of You will be published by North Light Craft Books this summer, giving readers the permission they’ve craved to step passionately into their lives, to discover how they and their gifts are unique, and to uncover what they are meant to do! 

Pre-order your copy now. Learn more by clicking here.


RSVP on Facebook!




* No, I have never used anything like that in an online dating profile. You're welcome, Men Of The Internet. You're welcome.

My Fearful Adventure: Conquering Denmark.

Public Service Announcement: Torre DeRoche wrote an awesome book. It launched earlier this month. Well, back up. I can't actually speak to the specific degree of awesomeness with any authority because I haven't read it yet...but seriously, watch this:


   


I mean, come on. Love with a Chance of Drowning. This is so my thing. I plan to read it as quickly as I can get my hands on it. So should you (details below). 

Torre is enlisting bloggers to spread the word by drafting stories of their own Fearful Adventure(s). There are only three parameters for said posts: 1) It inspires you; 2) It scares you; 3) On some level, big or small, it will change your world.

Will. That's the operative word for me. I've experienced many an adventure in my lifetime, but it's the WILL change your world that triggered me. This implies my fearful adventure has yet to take place. 

Folks, it's Denmark. Denmark is my WILL. That's my Fearful Adventure. 

Clarification: Denmark itself? Not scary. Quite lovely, as a matter of fact. Traveling isn't scary for me, either. Travel inspires and excites me. Travel also changes my world every time I venture out. I do it a lot, in fact, like, really a lot. Moving to Denmark, as in for a substantial amount of time? Scares the shit out of me. But here's the thing, kids, it also inspires me endlessly. Moving to Denmark is my fearful adventure. 

I have countless Evernote labels and snippets and sites and screen grabs and articles and gah! So much research and so much inspiration. Denmark is home. Sometimes, you just know. In an effort to focus my intention and energy, I've even made Denmark part of my 2013 Happiness Project. I've also been researching my Danish lineage, starting with my grandpa Otto who came to the states from Alslev when he was 23. A major bucket list goal for me is to retrace my family's steps, to find the churches, farms, roads, skies, and communities that cared for generation after generation.

With all the research, my travel savvy, the focused intention...why does moving to Denmark scare me so much? I'm an intelligent, accomplished professional and this really shouldn't be my Achilles. I travel alone constantly, both for work and for myself. Book a week in Hawai'i because I need a break from technology? Done. Four days in Ottawa because the leaves are pretty in the fall? Sure. I'm not one to need an entourage. So...what's up, Self? The answer to the question actually struck me as I watched Torre's book trailer. If I found myself in her position, I'm 87% sure I would've had little to no hesitation. Seriously. I'd totally do it. Ocean, sharks, hot guy, sailing in a scary little boat, whatever dude, I'm in. So why can't I move to Denmark? 

Well, one major difference between Torre's situation and mine: Someone with whom to share the adventure and to love it and you and all the ups and downs and troubleshooting that comes with it. A partner in crime. Because - and shit's about to get real up in here - I'm stuck on thinking I can't possibly move to Denmark alone. Perhaps my fearful adventure is to become an expat and radically change my world...for me and by me. Period. 

That could end up being my most fearless adventure of all.

love,
me

UPDATE:
Since writing this post, I've created a Denmark Pinterest board to continue to inspire me. Cheers to bucket lists. 




Love with a Chance of Drowning – A Memoir by Torre DeRoche
This post is part of the My Fearful Adventure series, which is celebrating the launch of Torre DeRoche’s debut book Love with a Chance of Drowning, a true adventure story about one girl’s leap into the deep end of her fears.

"Wow, what a book. Exciting. Dramatic. Honest. Torre DeRoche is an author to follow." Australian Associated Press

"… a story about conquering the fears that keep you from living your dreams." Nomadicmatt.com

"In her debut, DeRoche has penned such a beautiful, thrilling story you’ll have to remind yourself it’s not fiction." Courier Mail





Digging Deeper: Three Danish Generations

My genealogical research trail left off with my grandpa Otto's parents, Christen Thomsen Jessen and Dorthea Marie Andersen. I went back to the library this weekend armed with a few different research questions to explore. The path of least resistance turned out to be the parents (and children) of Otto's father's father, my great-great grandfather.


I'm so lucky to have this massive international resource just blocks from my home. 


One of the Nordic research consultants taught me about the patronymics governing Danish (and other culture's) names until 1857. Since great-great grandpa Christen's last name is Jessen, we know his father's name is Jes. To create the last name of the children, it's the father's name Jes followed by -sen ("son of") or -datter ("daughter of"). Off I went on the search for Jes...something. I found Christen's fødte kirekbøeger (church birth record) and learned his father's last name is Christensen. I also learned that Christen had two older sisters, but he was the first son. That means my great-great-great grandfather Jes Christensen named his first son after his own father. I also learned Jes was a farmer, as was his son, as was Otto.


My great-great grandfather's birth record, 16 August 1858.


Jes Christensen married Anne Maria Hansdatter (daughter of Hans, we would say Hansen). Anne Maria was born 30 October 1826 in Strellev, Øster Horne, Ribe, Denmark. Her father is Hans Jensen, her mother is Kirsten Marie Christendatter (Christensen). Anne Marie was 27 when she married Jes, who was 24. Church records show they posted their intent to marry on the church door in Strellev three times: 31 July, 07 August, and 14 August 1853. I kind of love that idea. The research assistant told me that was not only so people knew they were engaged, but it also gave anyone who felt the need to object a chance to do so. No one objected and they were married on 28 August 1853. I researched the tradition a bit more and this is what I found: "In 1582 a Danish-Norwegian ecclesiastical law was passed which provided that a legally binding trolovelse (engagement) was a prerequisite for marriage.  This requirement lasted until 1799. Being a religious event, engagements were entered into the parish register. The engagement event was followed by the lysing (public announcements or banns)" (source). So even though the law/requirement was past by 54 years, they still followed the tradition. That's interesting to me.

After they married, they moved to nearby Gjødsvang, Tistrup, Øster Horne, Ribe (where Jes grew up and had his farm) on 02 October 1853.


Strellev parish records. 


Anne Marie and Jes had five children: Mette (14 March 1855, Anne was 29 and married two years at that point), Kristen Maria (19 December 1856), Christen Thomsen (16 August 1858, Otto's dad), Anna (15 June 1860), and Hans (31 August 1862, baptized at home 19 September (likely sick and/or premature) and then at the church 19 October). Anne Marie was 36 when she had Hans, her fifth and final child. All children were born in Gjødsvang while living on the farm.

Since I found Christen's parents, I now want to find Dorthea Marie's parents, or Otto's maternal grandparents. That's my goal next time and we'll see where it takes me.

Also, I'm kind of addicted to this. Also also, I'm already plotting my trip to Denmark. I want to visit all these parishes, photograph the now-romantic Strellev church door, and see the land in Gjødsvang  that sustained my family.


Exploring my Danish roots

expatriate daydreams
I've been obsessed with Denmark for a long time now. It's a combination of liberal politics, collectivist culture, savvy urban planning, history, landscape and climate, tall men, you name it and I'm drawn to it. For those that know me well, take 17 seconds to scroll down the landing page of this website and tell me if every single highlight isn't so perfectly me. It just feels comfortable, like home. And it is home, in a way.

My mom's dad's family is Swedish, full of Malmquists and Bjornbergs from Stockholm. Her mom's line is a common English/Irish/UK mix. My dad's maternal line is Russian and German. My genes go back to Chester A. Arthur - US President No.21, John Williams - advocate of religious freedom, freedom from religion, and founder of Providence, Rhode Island,  a woman my gramma referred to only as "the Jewish gypsy" (love that), and other assorted characters I've yet to learn about.

However, for whatever reason, I feel most drawn to Denmark and to the experiences of my dad's dad, Otto Jessen. He came to the states at age 23 in 1929, from Alslev and then Ravnsbjerg, Denmark.

One of the lingering regrets of my life is that I didn't tune into this passion for Denmark until my grandpa Otto had already passed away in the spring semester of my freshman year at college. I wasted so many vacations in Iowa being a teenager and doing what teenagers do, which is waste time. If I could go back I would record every single story and word out of his mouth, I'd ask so many questions.

Part of My Happiness Project in 2013 is to research my Danish roots. Genealogy has to start somewhere and I'm starting with Otto and working my way back. A secondary reason I'm doing this, in addition to my primary desire to learn all about his life, is to generate energy around my goal to live in Denmark. Not to take a vacation. Not to enroll is whatever PhD will get me over there for a couple years. To live. Live for real. For a long time. I've researched expat websites and yes, even a few grueling doctoral program. I'm unclear for now as to how to make it happen. But again, even that has to start somewhere. In a small way, I feel like the three hours I spent at the Family History Library this weekend moved me in the right direction.

The Great Dane, per his declaration, grandpa Otto.
Here is what I learned so far:

Otto was born 28 September 1905 in Alslev (parish), Skast (district), Ribe (county).

He was child number seven for Kristen Thomsen Jessen and Dorthea Marie Andersen. Older siblings include: Karen Kristine (1891), Niels Paulsen (1896), Ane Katrine (1898), Anton Marinus (1899), Dagmar (1901), and Egner (1904). Herluf came after Otto in 1908.

Dorthea was 42 years old when she had Otto. In 1905. In farmland rural Denmark. And he was child number seven. The woman was not messing around. #vikingstock

Kristen, in some census records spelled Christen, and Dorthea Marie were born and christened (Lutheran) in the same parish of Tistrup (also in Ribe, the same county in which Otto was born). Kristen was a farmer, as was Otto once he made it to Iowa. Kristen was five years older than his wife. He passed away in July 1931, and Dorthea followed in April 1932, a couple years after Otto arrived in the United States.

I found the entire family (minus unborn Herluf) listed in a 1906 census (folketællings) in Alslev, where Otto had just been born in 1905. I found a birth record (fødte kirkebøger (look at me go)) for Herluf in Alslev in 1908, but then the family is not in the 1911 census for that parish. Where does a farmer, tied to the land, take a wife and eight children in 190-something? That's a mystery I get to work on next time.

It's a surreal feeling, to find something like this and actually see it on paper. 

I also found the passenger list for the ship that brought Otto to America. He said he was born in Alslev, but his last residence was in Ravnsbjerg. His travel visa was issued in September 1928, so I tried to find census records from Ravnsbjerg in 1925 (the last record before 1930, when he was already gone). That city doesn't exist in the census records. It's thrown me for a loop and I can't figure out why they wouldn't have done a census there. Google Earth circa 2013 shows all sorts of life and stuff going on in Ravnsbjerg, Denmark; but for some reason, 1925 census workers weren't keen on it. I need to know what county and district it's in (which I couldn't figure out online, but that would help).

At any rate, it was the first time I've ever done any research like this and I'm already looking forward to my next trip to the library. Granted many of the research sites are available to me online (i.e. the statens arkivers  (Danish state archives at Arkivalieronline.dk), but the itty bitty Danish grandmother who works at the Scandinavian research desk does not get to come home with me. She was enthusiastic, excited by the double ss in my last name, and helpful in teaching me all sorts of useful words that will no doubt help me navigate Denmark once I arrive:

kirkebøger: church record
søg: search
opslag: page
folketælling: census
amt: county
sogn: parish
herred: district
landsogn: rural
fødte: birth
døbte: baptism
copulerede: marriage
døde: death
begravede: burials

Oh yeah, I'll be the hit of expat singles mixer. Just you wait, Denmark. Just you wait.