Join me on my new site...as I launch my new business!

I have very exciting news to share with you. 

I officially graduated from Blogger and have fully redesigned a site on Squarespace. Same URL: www.aseriesofadventures.com, but a whole new world! I'm using MailChimp to manage a newsletter for readers...so please head to the site and sign up. I want to stay in touch. Big changes are coming. Big.

The most exciting news is that I've teamed up with Danielle LaPorte to bring one of the first-ever Desire Map experiences to Salt Lake City, Utah. I'm designing in-person workshops and overnight retreats, as well as building an eCourse soon to be open to anyone and everyone!

If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know how transformative The Desire Map has been in my life. I'm on a mission to help others discover their own Core Desired Feelings and live their most adventurous life. This is going to be epic. Join me on the new site, get on the newsletter, and stay tuned!

Love,
me

I Failed! Also Titled: Why My First Rejection Letter Is So Awesome.

Look, ma! I got a rejection letter from Porter Fox at Nowhere Magazine. Nowhere is hands down one of my favorite travel writing publications. It's my niche. Ever since I found them, I've felt like I could actually do this. I could travel and write and be me and carve out even a tiny resting place in the galaxy of travel writing. If you've scrolled through more than a thousand "Best Of..." "Top 7 Ways You Know You're Canadian..." "Five Reasons Thailand Is Better Than Seattle..." click-bait links, and you're as bored with them as I am, Nowhere is for you. Literary travel writing. Storytelling. Experiential travel at its best. Light on the overwrought lists. That's Nowhere. I submitted an entry to their Spring Travel Writing Contest and this is the response that I (and obviously countless others in the BCC field) received:

Why is failure exciting? Why am I so stoked to get rejected by a publication I revere? Because a travel writer who failed is still a travel writer. That sting is a far better feeling than sitting in my living room at my laptop wishing I had the guts to knock on Nowhere's door. People that I respect in the industry read my work. They didn't love it more than the work of the 11 people listed in the email, but that's not the point. It immediately brought to mind the infamous Theodore Roosevelt quote that inspired the title of Brene Brown's book Daring Greatly:

"It's not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the person who is in the arena. Whose face is marred with dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly."

Love and many more failures to come,
me

A word on clarity, declarations, and the power of your voice (part one)

I've been in a declarative mood as of late. Perhaps it was the sun in Leo's lion providing vicarious courage. Perhaps it's Mars in Scorpio, forcing a warrior spirit to wrestle everything into the light. Perhaps it's the culmination of years of quiet dreaming finally overflowing its threshold. Perhaps I'm now crystal clear about how I do and do not want to spend my life. Most likely it's all of the above in a perfect storm. Declaring to myself and others that I plan to eventually quit my job and travel the world is scary and exhilarating. It's also a game changer, the declaration alone. I've learned a few things, deep deep down in my bones learned, since making that declaration. Namely:

Declare. Do the hard work that clarity requires...then declare the shit out of your dreams. 

Danielle LaPorte is my spirit animal. The Desire Map is without a doubt the most radical paradigm shift I've ever experienced. I was raised in an organized religion, left of my own accord in my early twenties, spent a decade rebuilding a worldview on my own terms; and yet not even that paradigm shift compares to The Desire Map blowing my world wide open.

Every creation the world has ever known, from a lightbulb to wheels to the Mona Lisa, began with a desire of some kind. Likewise, everything you want to create in your life begins with a desire. Every desire must be defined and clarified and refined and seared into a new way of life, a daily practice. It's not casual wanting, or listless hoping that some day something will happen. It's active. This desire is a living thing. It defines you as you're defining it. You're co-creating with The Universe. Woah. Dude, I know.

The reason you need to be crystal clear about your desires is because...

The Universe not only pays attention to your desires, she wants all of it for you as much as you want it for yourself. Probably more. 

I wrote about the energy that shifted the moment I declared that I plan to eventually quit my job and travel the world. What I mean by "shifting energy" is that since making that declaration, it's all I can do to simply keep up with The Universe. She was waiting. Patiently. For years. She knew this was coming. She hoped I'd get here. She hoped I'd be courageous enough to realize admit this is what I want need. By the time I did finally catch up and own the full declaration of it all, she came flooding in. I can actually hear her sigh of relief, "Yes...this. It's so time for this. You have no idea the degree of awesomeness that's about to overtake every inch of your life." She's so stoked that I'm dialed in to the possibilities she sees for me. What does that flood look like? Opportunities to travel*, resources to learn and grow and keep my vibration high**, a serious medical diagnosis that's a terrifying blessing in disguise***, abundant support from strangers as well as friends, financial avenues that three weeks ago I didn't know even existed, and the deep satisfaction of knowing that I nailed it. I'm aligned. I'm in the zone. There's no going back now. Had I not been crystal clear with my desires, I could have and would have pursued any number of paths that might be fine, but not this right.

I'll be back soon with part two of this post, re: the correlation between my diagnosis and the power of our voice. I'll bring a lot of love (both gentle and tough) and permission with me. Stay tuned. Until then, wise words from author and civil rights leader Howard Thurman:

Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

Love and desire,
me


* Exciting news about the next step in my travel writing career coming soon. 
** I'll share these resources in a separate post coming soon.
*** I'll practice what I preach and speak with courage about my diagnosis in part two of this post.

You are because you say you are.

I recently wrote about a dream coming true. Traveling to Alaska (bucket list destination) courtesy of Princess Cruises (hello, press credentials) writing and photographing (numero uno dream job of all time) for The Avid Cruiser (a respected mentor and friend). It doesn't get more exciting than this. I've been blogging and traveling and writing and wanderlusting and photographing and dreaming for years. At times I wanted all of that energy to lead to something and at other times I just kept going because it makes me happy. At times I pursued the goal with specific intentions and at other times I ignored it entirely, going about my normal life. This ebb and flow, this evolving dance with what I really want out of my life, has been going on for what feels like forever. Now here I am. Even though it could seem simple, this one assignment, I still believe it's an absolute manifestation. It feels surreal. That's actually what I want to talk about, the surreal nature of it all. This thought has been stewing for a while now: You are because you say you are. Jen Sincero, Wayne Dyer, and I have something to say about the power of owning it.

Owning it. No apologies. No excuses. Taking a proactive role in defining the life you want to live. 

Ralph Grizzle (a.k.a. The Avid Cruiser) recently posted about the three journeys covered on the Live Voyage Report site in May. When I read his words, I couldn't take them in. It felt like an out of body experience. Who is this woman he's talking about, anyway? 

A chance meeting a couple of years ago resulted in our welcoming aboard Gail Jessen. Gail is a Salt Lake City based writer who will be reporting for us from Star Princess as she and the ship make their way from San Francisco to Skagway — and back. Gail wrote an engaging piece that will tell you who she is and how she became a travel writer. You will find her post here. For inspiration alone, it is recommended reading.

A Salt Lake City based writer? How she...became a travel writer? Inspiring? I stared at the screen. Agape. Holy shit, you guys. I'm a writer based in Salt Lake City. That's me he's talking about. I'm a writer. I write. I'm writing. I'm in Salt Lake City and I write, like writers do. I'm a travel writer. I write about travel. Out in the world, while traveling, I write. I'm a writer of travel stories based in Salt Lake City. My reaction was a bit like...Bob's.

I'd say printing a box of oh-so-official business cards - to hand out on the ship and to family/friends - is owning it.

One particular point from Sincero's book, You Are a Badass, comes to mind a lot lately. I'm paraphrasing, but she basically says: You want to be a photographer...but you don't take pictures. What sense does that make? Conversely, you take a lot of photos and it's a significant passion for you, but you say you're not a photographer? Why the hell not? What's a photographer then? Someone who takes pictures. So go do that. Say you're a photographer. Aren't you? Then go do it some more. You are whatever you say you are simply because you said it...then did something about it. She writes:

Set your intention, work steadily in the direction you want to go, do all that you know how to do, believe it’s here and available to you, be diligent about how you speak, think and behave, have faith in yourself and The Universe, and then...drum roll please, this is the super important part...breathe, let it go, fuggetaboutit, give it some damn room to come in. 

While I read Sincero over a year ago, I've recently been making my way through Wayne Dyer's newest book, I Can See Clearly Now. I tackle bits and pieces here and there, mostly letting the new paradigms settle in between readings. It's the kind of a book you take your time with and he's that kind of author. What's percolating to the top is his discussion of "I AM..." The phrase "I am" is one of the most profound, transformative phrases we can possibly utter. We literally create our reality with that phrase. Think about it. It's so simple, but it's such a game changer. We can unfairly turn "I'm having a rough day and lost my temper for a moment" into "I am an angry person." We can also then take a proactive role in defining the life we want to live by turning "I like to write and maintain a blog" into "I am a travel writer."

I AM. Sit with it for a minute. Think of all the ways you're currently shaping your reality with I AM statements (conscious or out loud or not). Think of all the ways you could shift your future reality by intentionally focusing on the power of "I AM."

I'll kick it off: I am a travel writer based in Salt Lake City.

Love,
me

This post is dedicated to Jo and Elizabeth, two amazing women who inspire me...and who I've never actually met. Through the magic that is Instagram and, coincidentally, an online photography course, we found each other. Without saying much - a double-tap photo like here, a Facebook comment there - we've connected and we just get it. This is for them. 

Sailing Alaska + Writing for The Avid Cruiser

I met The Avid Cruiser as one should expect to meet him, on a ship in an exotic locale. My friend Kris and I were sailing with Viking River Cruises up the blue Danube, hopping from one fabled Christmas market to the next. Ralph Grizzle and I ended up in the ship's empty dining room at the same time, and proceeded to have a conversation that I've since realized was one of the most powerful catalysts I've ever experienced. Our topics ranged from the casual (work, climate, favorite travel destinations, lost luggage), to the provocative (our love of socialism, creativity, vagabond souls, life in Denmark, and insatiable wanderlust). Near the end of our lunch, I rudely pulled out my iPhone to instagram a beautiful dessert. Naturally. Once the conversation turned to mobile photography, and we connected to each other's Instagram feeds, the flame was officially lit.

Exploring Regensburg, Germany with Kris (left) in 2012

You see, I'd been timidly flirting with the idea that my life (and identity, if I'm honest) no longer needed to be defined by a stressful 9-5 j.o.b. I'd been toying with the notion that creativity was no longer a luxury, but a state of being I needed to achieve and maintain daily. Once I got home I started hosting a monthly brunch + book group dedicated entirely to exploring the concept of happiness. I was starting to say it out loud...  I'd finally admitted to myself the exciting, terrifying, seemingly impossible truth: I'm at my best when I'm in motion. I'm in a state of centered bliss when I'm untethered. I need to travel. It's not an option or a nice thing to do a couple times a year if I can save my pennies and vacation days. It's a profound ache that hash tagging "wanderlust" on a few Facebook photos doesn't begin to satiate.

Enter one of the most successful digital nomads I've ever met. Ralph had no idea he was changing my life.

He questioned me a number of times throughout the trip: "Why don't you do this professionally?" And "These photos are legitimately good. This is something you could pursue." And "Tell me where you work again? Why?" And eventually "I'm happy to help you make contact with..."

Almost 18 months and hundreds of gmails later, I'm sailing to Alaska courtesy of Princess Cruises, writing and photographing my adventures for Ralph's Avid Cruiser Live Voyage Report website. I don't need to wax poetic about dreams coming true - it feels indulgent - but do let me say this once: This opportunity is, in the most literal sense, a dream coming true. I am profoundly grateful.

So here we go! Alaska. America's last great frontier. On 05/22/2014 I set out from San Francisco and you'll be able to follow the adventure every night as I post on the Live Voyage Report website (bookmark it now). You can also follow the adventures in real time on my Instagram and Twitter feeds. In the meantime, drool with me over this Alaska Pinterest board curated by Princess Cruises. I mean, seriously.

Love,
me

Banner created by Aaron Saunders, creator of From the Deck Chair, and co-creator of + contributor to Avid Cruiser's LVR.

Live + Learn: My first full month of practicing The Desire Map

{ this post is part of the desire map series // you're invited }

I wrapped up my first full month of daily Desire Map practice. I reworked my core desired feelings a number of times before January even started, but I think I still need to fine tune them even more. I can't shake the sense that the words I chose aren't yet reaching their most powerful, evocative depth. For February I decided to use my 2014 power word (OPEN) as an umbrella for my CDFs. I'm also changing my CDFs from a static list of words into a mantra:

"Your desire is a prayer. Be open to magic, abundance, creativity, freedom, health, and spiritual alignment."

About two weeks into January I also learned a powerful lesson about the paradox and conflict between my some of my CDFs, and how to stay focused on the long game. I made decisions that I felt would manifest abundance and freedom, but I ended up moving so far away from health and spiritual alignment that it wasn't worth it. I was temporarily free and I felt an abundance of time and space, but the aftermath of my choices actually made me physically ill. In turn, that made me upset and disappointed that I probably knew better and still made the wrong decision. My core, my aligned and balanced core, was way off kilter. It's going to take time and a lot of practice to understand which choices are completely true to the long range intentions of my CDFs. Live and learn.

What lessons have you learned in trying to live your CDFs every day? 

Love and the long game,
me

Just. Say. No.

{ this post is part of the desire map series // you are invited }

Part of me has always believed it, but not until the last couple years have I really really let it sink into my core: When you finally get the courage to state an intention, the Universe will flood your awareness with resources that support you. As Danielle LaPorte says in The Desire Map, "Your desire is a prayer." It all goes back to the energy of manifesting and all that hippie Hay House stuff, right? I've come to realize, with awe, the sheer precision and specificity of the Universe in delivering these resources. It can be in response to an epic dream or a cautious whisper, but it will be answered with a flood of resources to support you.

For example, in the somewhat-cautious-whisper category: I've been meditating a lot recently on the liberation of saying no. Creating a do-not-do list is empowering and revolutionary, for me anyway. I'm in a situation right now that cannot immediately change, even though I want it to change with every ounce of my being. I'm seeking ways to change myself within the structure that exists. For now. My ultimate plan is to bust wide out and never look back, but for now, a series of shifts.

If you also have trouble standing strong in a firm no, for whatever reason, consider this your permission (she also says to herself). In a brilliant confluence, I realize that as I get deeper into my Core Desired Feelings and deeper into a commitment to make those feelings a reality every day...I have to be very clear on what I say yes and no to. This ability to refine my commitments, and even my perspective on my commitments, is helping me change within that for-now structure.

"An inability to notice our true feelings leaves us at their mercy. People with greater certainty about their feelings are better pilots of their lives."

Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence.

In addition to what feels like a thousand photos and serendipitous article links on this very theme flooding my Facebook and Twitter feeds, two particular resources have come at just. the. right. time. It's these two resources that I want to share with you: a blog post from traveler/author Kim Dinan and a recently reprised post from Danielle. Kim talks about how we can decide whether to say yes or no, and Danielle talks about admitting when something sucks. From that foundation of "this sucks" - start saying no and fix it. She writes: "You're smart to see it. You're brilliant if you move on." Preach.


I'd love to hear about your experiences. Do you have difficulty saying no, particularly to anything that you perceive as "the responsible thing" to do? Has working through your Core Desired Feelings had this same effect on you, a refiner's fire of saying no?

Love, 
me

Postcrossing: Penpals from all over the globe

Postcards are so romantic. Stamps displaying unfamiliar languages, tattered edges from a journey across the world, sentiments bare for anyone to read. Someone halfway around the world thought of you, for even a moment, and wrote a note with pen in hand.

Listen, I instagram like crazy. It's a virtual postcard of your adventures at home and abroad. Also, I happen to believe, from the perspective of an artist and a community organizer, it's one of the most profound apps to be invented in recent history. However, I'm just old enough to know there's nothing quite like the nostalgia of receiving handwritten mail.

I've turned a few friends on to Postcrossing over the years and my annual stats report reminded me to once again praise them from the rooftops. It's free. It's fun. It is also, for me, a subtle way to keep the energy of wanderlust flowing constantly through my life. If you want to get started, it's as simple as creating a profile with as much or as little information as you want to share. Your address is private until Postcrossing matches you with a sender. You will also become a sender and receive addresses for people to whom you'll send postcards. The postcard exchange is a one-time deal, unless you decide to approach someone about becoming regular penpals (or you accept someone's offer to you). I prefer the one-time approach and find it's what I have time for in my life right now. Simple.

My mailbox looked like this in 2013:

Love and mail worth reading, 

me

Happiness 2.0: Building a community

Yesterday I posted on The Desire Map facebook page, sharing the books my friends and I are reading as part of our 2014 Happiness Project. The response from people wanting to participate has been awesome. I'm thrilled to meet so many new people and to welcome you to this adventure.

So...welcome! I'm happy you're here. 

There were a number of questions as to how this works and what it actually looks like. No problem, let me explain. Right now, all over the world, desire mappers are meeting in person and virtually, using Google hangouts and Skype. This book group model is amazing and I admire the connectivity and commitment. The Happiness Project, however, is a different sort of commitment.

The shortest way to explain it: 
Leave comments on the blog posts that discuss our Happiness Project books, and reply to the comments that others have posted. Every post on this site is also shared on the A Series of Adventures Facebook page, so you can also read and interact there.

The long(er) version:
This is an invitation to build a tribe, to engage with like-minded people. If you're looking for a sense of community, if you're searching for people who are also searching, you've found them. I don't know about you, but I love to bookmark and subscribe to blogs that build community and resonate with the direction I'm taking my life. I enjoy meeting new people, but most of all, I enjoy having conversations that matter. I love engaging in the comment section of these blogs, both with the author of the post and with other people who have commented. It's a small, quick, easy action to take...but over time it compounds into something really beautiful. Trust that.

One of my core desired feelings (speaking of Desire Map) is open to magic. That phrase is actually my 'power word' for 2014, so it is the ultimate core desired feeling right now. The 2013 Happiness Project group (which I talk about here) was transformative, for both me and my friends who participated. It was a powerful year, full of clear intentions and significant changes. Having a supportive community of people made all the difference. So, to honor my desire to be open to magic, I'm opening the circle. I'm trusting in the magic that happens when we engage with people who are focused on the same themes and issues.

Does that help clarify? Summary: Leave comments and get to know each other, both on this site and on facebook. It's low key, just a tribe of seekers who will support each other in making 2014 amazing. We can start right now with our first round of comments. Are you open to it?

Post an introduction below and let us know who you are. We're excited to meet you. 

What we get out of an experience is equal to the amount of energy and intention we put in to the experience.

P.S. Housekeeping note: This site is not entirely dedicated to the Happiness Project book series. You can read more about the mission of the site in the { love, me } section above. In short, I'm an administrator in higher ed by day, a storyteller and creative old soul in real life. I view every inch of life as an adventure and I curate my life into a series of memorable ones. This site is dedicated to pursuits that bring me joy: globetrotting, photography, and sundry feats of creativity. I also post about books I’m reading (obviously), my research into my Danish family history, mindfulness and other such hippie dippieness. Click if you’d like to explore my writing by category(ish).

Cheers to adventure!

Love and books books books,
me

Happiness 2.0: Digging Deep in 2014

Those of you who've read this blog for a while know that throughout 2013 I embarked on The Happiness Project. I was poolside in Hawai'i in November 2012, reading Gretchen Rubin's book, and some combination of twelve short chapters and the aloha spirit inspired me to host a monthly brunch slash book club. We gathered. We ate. We cried. We talked. We set goals. We succeeded and failed. We supported each other. We decided Gretchen was lame. I don't want to spread negative juju on this site, but it will suffice to say that we find her text self-absorbed, ethnocentric, lacking in research, and soulless. A missed opportunity, in sum. That might actually be a whole lot of negative juju, but we won't dwell. The point is we used it as a springboard. We made it to the end of the year and knew this group needed to continue.

Enter 2014. Happiness, version 2.0. The Advanced Placement class. Digging deep. However you cut it, we've long ago graduated from Gretchen and shit's gettin' real in here.

Below is the list of texts we're tackling this year. If you would like to read along, please do. I will post on this site throughout the year, sharing ah-ha moments and inspiration from our monthly discussions. If you're reading with us, jump into the comment section. I'd love to hear from you.

Danielle LaPorte's Desire Map kicks off the year because it will change our entire relationship to goal setting. Foundation: Determine how you want to feel, then start saying "yes" and "no" accordingly. Start setting intentions or goals with that feeling in mind. The journey needs to feel the way you want the destination to feel...and feeling good is the primary intention. Bam. Take that, new year's resolutions.

Once we're clear on our core desires, we'll work on breaking down old patterns of thoughts and agreements that hold us back from completely living those desires and becoming pure awesomeness. When I first read Don Miguel Ruiz's Four Agreements eight years ago, it took me all of one sitting and it changed my entire life. These new agreements are so completely fundamental to my worldview at this point, I almost take the revolutionary wisdom for granted. I revisit the book often and cannot wait to do it with this crowd.

Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages is an important tool for self-discovery, but also a powerful insight into our friends, family, lovers, bosses. Our core desired feelings are now governing our decisions, the four agreements are shaping a healthy experience of ourself and others, so let's move on to loving each other, shall we? Let's love each other well, and in the way we want to be loved. All of that. Yes.

Halftime. Gut check. Regroup, reflect, recommit. Go deeper. Brene Brown's Daring Greatly is about embracing vulnerability as a courageous act. {gulp} Vulnerability. {ugh} Not my thing. These middle months are going to kick my ass. I'm up for it, but for the record, my palms are already sweating. If we're going to truly absorb all we've learned to this point in the year, and if we're going to truly own it as the new normal for our lives (when it's not the norm for the world around us), it's going to take vulnerability and a whole heap of courage.

I've written about Jen Sincero's You are a Badass before. I read it last year, or to be more accurate, I devoured it. It's so crazy good. Show up. Own it. Take up space in the world. Change your frequency. Dump the chump. Make it happen. Get over yourself and do it already. Yes, this is the perfect way to wind down the year and wind up our lives.

Kim Dinan is my spirit animal. She was in her early 30s, working as an LCSW in Portland, when she and her husband Brian decided to save their pennies, quit their jobs, and travel the world (i.e. my dream). I haven't written yet about Kim Dinan's Life on Fire, but I will soon. I read it in three spinning sessions at the gym and knew instantly it would be huge for me; hence, closing this awesome year with everyone experiencing it. It's part text, part workbook. After all this introspection and soul searching, we'll end 2014 with a plan, man. A plan for a life on fire.

There you have it. Let's rock it out. 2014 is the year, folks. Join us...

...consider this your virtual invitation into my home and into these conversations.

Love and pure awesomeness,
me

A New Year. The Desire Map. Feelings That Aren't Feeling-y Enough.

Since my last post I spent a week in New Orleans, a week in Southern California, and have now ushered in the new year at home in Salt Lake City. Photos of these trips will be posted shortly, btw. For now, however, I need to talk to you about The Desire Map.

I've posted about The Desire Map on this site before; primarily declaring that I knew it was out there, skating around it because I'm afraid of it, and acknowledging it would kick my emotional ass once I let it. Well, friends, I'm finally tackling it. I read it on all of my plane rides to and fro. I spent the entire day today (01 January 2014!) making my way through the workbook and trying to settle on my Core Desired Feelings. I also committed to my power word for 2014.

My power word and my experience with The Desire Map are so cosmically intertwined that I cannot talk about one and not the other. My 2013 power word was ABUNDANCE. I focused on (re)training my brain out of a scarcity mindset and believing and trusting and knowing there's enough of everything and all of that jazz. Well, The Universe flooded me with abundance and I now need to get out of my own way. I need to let it all flow through me and stop trying to control it, second guess it, one up it, over analyze it, and generally screw it up. Entre my 2014 power word: OPEN. My 2014 power phrase, more accurately: OPEN TO MAGIC.

I'm an academic through and through. Over half my life has been spent in school, college, a graduate program, professional certification courses, and my entire professional career has been built within the academy as well. The concept of magic, of faith, of things that cannot be explained, of something happening that I myself did not create and control...it's all a bit foreign. At least, it feels more foreign to me now that it ever has before. I think I used to be open. I think I used to be open to magic even. I used to be quite a romantic, really. You'd never know it if you met me for the first time today. Even though, at my core, I'm divinely feminine and unnervingly intuitive, the woman you'd meet on the street today is rational and precise and hyper logical and in control and pulled together and cynical and on top of it and you get the idea. I need to soften it up a bit. I need to be open again, open to letting all the energy and abundance flow in and out and around me, fluid and flexible. I need to let myself lean in to a bit of magic.

Enter my desire mapping process. I read the entire book. I powered through over a hundred workbook pages. I color coded. I dog eared. I post-it tabbed. I rocked it. I'm doing this. I'm making a list of Core Desired Feelings. I'm researching the etymology and combing through the thesaurus. I'm coding my qualitative research and identifying patterns. I'm failing already. I end up with a final list of words that make perfect sense and accurately identify my Core Desired Feelings, but they have no razzle dazzle, no sex, no magic, no...emotion. Hashtag irony. My entire mantra for the year is to be OPEN TO MAGIC and I've created the perfect list of core desired feelings...that don't feel like anything. They are not vulnerable. They are not open. They are not magical. Well, fuck.

I leave it for a while. I watch a few episodes of The Daily Show on hulu while I cook and laugh it off. When I return to the list I tell myself, "You're not being honest. Just say it. 'In Communion' is the perfect phrase for what you want to feel at your core, but to you the words feel patriarchal and Catholicish. So what if it's perfect...if it doesn't feel perfect to you?! Just say it. Be as simple as possible." I re-do the list three more times.

As of now, my Core Desired Feelings, including my 2014 power phrase:

OPEN TO MAGIC

ABUNDANT

CREATIVE

STRONG

FREE

SPIRITUALLY CENTERED

I waffled between "abundance" and "abundant" for a good 45 minutes. I'm still waffling. I had "healthy" in the list, but know that "strong" will get my ass to the gym with greater gusto. I discussed my reaction to the phrase I lovehate: "in communion." I had four iterations of my list that included "secure/free" as one word. That whole "secure/free" thing is a barrel of monkeys I will unpack throughout this whole year, but for now, I'm committed to the core core core, which is free.

In all honesty, I still don't think I'm there yet. I still don't feel these words are the very core of me. I still sense they are masking a bit of...something. I do know, however, that done is better than perfect. I also know that I will work through a month with these words and revisit them. I also also know that as I unravel more and more and more layers of my 2014 power phrase, I will inevitably unravel more and more and more layers of my desired feelings. I'll reach the core. I'm not there yet, but I will be.

I will be.

Love and desire,
me

Completing My Craft Lake City Collaboration (sort of)

As my time working with Craft Lake City comes to a close, I've spent some time sprucing up the collaboration landing page. Originally, I only posted the introductory paragraph of the artist profiles and I included only a few photos from the workshop recaps. I did this to help drive traffic to the Craft Lake website. Now that the big push is over, I want everything to be properly posted and archived on my own site.

On the revamped page you can access an artist's profile or a workshop by selecting their cover photo. The full article and the full slideshow are now included on my site. Take a minute to look around, will you?

It's been a creative four months and I've loved the experience. Long-time readers will remember that I started 2013 with the power word ABUNDANCE. That intention took many forms over these past 12 months, one of which being CREATIVITY. I needed it back in my life and I expressed that need repeatedly. Well kids, my experience of this Universe is that you tend to get what you ask for. Eventually. Be specific and be ready. Intentions, focus, hard work...and saying yes. Keep saying yes.

I'll always look back on my time with Craft Lake as a period of rich creative renewal. I was able to flex my atrophied creative writing muscles, hone my rusty journalism skills, and dust off my camera. I got back in a groove and I needed that. I met amazing artists, many of whom live mere blocks from me, and am now thoroughly convinced that Salt Lake City is one of the craftiest cities ever. I gained the experience of working with a professional publishing team (Craft Lake was started and is still managed by the masterminds behind SLUG Magazine). I also now understand what freelancing feels like on top of my 40-60 hours-a-week j.o.b. (whew). On top of it all, I think I created a strong portfolio of work, if I do say so myself. And I do say so. I totally just said it. Bam.

Check out the new landing page. Read the profiles. Support the artists. Buy locally and buy handcrafted. Enjoy the workshop slideshows and how-to recaps. Get your hands dirty and get crafty with your friends. Read SLUG.

I'll retain the title of Contributing Blogger and they'll continue to contact me about future assignments. Stay tuned. Who knows...there may be another profile or two coming your way.

Love and abundant creativity,
me

Incubating Dreams

While I love The Cult of Done Manifesto for what it can do to help me manage counterproductive perfectionism, the truth is that some projects take longer than a week to knock out (see Manifesto point no.5). The realistic flip side is that some goals require a long game. Of course we need to make progress on interim goals, and consider those Done a'la manifesto, but when we're talking about massive, life-changing, feel-silly-even-saying-it-outloud dreams, I think we need a different way to approach it.

A recent post by life coach Kate Swoboda provides a helpful framework for thinking about the incubation of dreams. She contends that "The way we go after the dream is just as important as the fulfillment of the dream itself." She challenges us: "How is your dream incubating? As you’re working, what’s your dream marinating in? What’s the energy that it’s gestating and developing in?" She goes on with examples of productive and unproductive incubation energy, if you will.

I don’t know why I’d bother. No one will show up, anyway.
becomes...
This is hard, but it’ll be worth it.

I’m putting all of this work in, so it had better work out for me!
becomes...
I live a good life now, and I know I’ll live a good life, later–no matter what the outcome.

I’m so afraid. I’m so afraid. I’m so afraid. I’m so afraid.
becomes...
I’m afraid, but I’m willing to trust. I’m afraid, but I’m willing to trust. I’m afraid, but I’m willing to trust.

It's so simple, right? She's not presenting earth-shattering revelations, she presenting gentle reminders of what we know in our soul and forget in the daily grind. How many times have I sat down to write a blog post and said, "I don't know why I bother. No one will read this anyway." Instead of clicking over to netflix and spending time feeling deflated, the mantra should be, "This is hard, but it'll be worth it."

It's a call to action for myself as much as it is for anyone reading this. We need to be conscious of the white noise, the subconscious energy, and the space in which we're incubating our dreams. And doesn't it all end up boiling down to abundance? My 2013 power word has been a doozy, let me tell you. I've come to realize, without fail, most everything in life breaks down to fear/scarcity or love/abundance. The incubation of our dreams, if I may put words in Kate's mouth, must happen in an abundant space. As she said, "The conditions under which our dreams are created do affect the outcomes. Stop, breathe, get present to what you’re creating at all points along the way." {tweet it}

Love and love and more love,
me

The Cult of Done: A Manifesto

created by illustrator James Provost (click for links to purchase the print).

A few years back, Kio Stark and Bre Pettis, CEO of MakerBot and leader in the 3D printing industry, created The Cult of Done Manifesto. If you're not familiar with it, I want to share it with you. If this is old news to you, you're welcome for the reminder. This is good stuff.

As I'm working my way back to a creative mindset and creative set of habits throughout this year, I find myself getting stuck at familiar road blocks. And by "familiar road blocks" I mean to say paralyzing perfectionism. If it can't be a perfect end result right out of the gate, then it's not good enough and I need to stay at the drawing board, as it were. Lame, I know. Not very not present-minded, either. Eckhart would be so disappointed in me. While this pattern is engrained in my DNA, and it's not easy to shut that off, The Cult of Done Manifesto is an excellent slap in the face. Thirteen slaps, actually. Ready? Here we go:

The Cult of Done Manifesto

1. There are three states of being: Not knowing, action, and completion. {tweet it}
2. Accept that everything is a draft. It helps to get it done. {tweet it}
3. There is no editing stage.
4. Pretending you know what you're doing is almost the same as knowing what you are doing, so just accept that you know what you're doing even if you don't and do it.
5. Banish procrastination. If you wait more than a week to get an idea done, abandon it.
6. The point of being done is not to finish but to get other things done. {tweet it}
7. Once you're done you can throw it away.
8. Laugh at perfection. It's boring and keeps you from being done. {tweet it}
9. People without dirty hands are wrong. Doing something makes you right. 
10. Failure counts as done. So do mistakes. {tweet it}
11. Destruction is a variant of done. {tweet it}
12. If you have an idea and publish it on the internet, that counts as a ghost of done.
13. Done is the engine of more. {tweet it}

Whether it's long-range creative pursuits or motivation to empty the dishwasher, this manifesto is so packed with wisdom. 

Love, number eight, and cheers to done, 

me

Traveling by cargo ship #traveltuesday

I have a confession to make. Over the past couple months, I've been breathlessly seduced by the notion of traveling on a cargo ship.

Yes, I'm serious. I'll even sign the Piracy Declaration to prove it.

Rebecca Hall, a writer, recently traveled from Greece to Hong Kong and shared her story with NPR's Weekend Edition. Thirty seconds into the piece my heart was racing and I hung on every word. This needs to happen.

Once she completed her journey, she spoke again with Rachel Martin and told her about life on board.

Both audio clips are under five minutes, so listen and fall in love. Trust me.

I immediately set about googling this phenomenon. How did I not know this is A Thing? Matador wrote a how-to for cargo ship travel in 2008. 2008! So many years spent not traveling on cargo ships. So many. The Matador article is excellent, very practical. They tackle the most obvious questions: Where can you go, what will it cost, what is life like on board, how does one begin planning for this? Some of the links are 404, being that the article is half a decade old at this point, but I did my own digging.

A la Carte Freighter Travel is a reputable Canadian travel agency that deals with these unique itineraries. I'm particularly drawn to two itineraries: Tahiti to The Marquesas Islands, and the Norwegian Costal. I mean, seriously. How fascinating would it be to make your way down the Norwegian coast delivering supplies to remote fishing villages? And how about this for a description of the Tahitian ship's mission: "It connects local communities, calling at the principal villages, as well as several remote areas, on every inhabited island." Gah! The adventure of it all. The RMS Saint Helena also sounds amazing, but with 128 civilian passengers, it's a more crowded experience than I'd prefer.

Seaplus is also a site highly recommended around the interwebs. It doesn't seem to have been updated since 2011, but the information is detailed and seems solid, including photos of the ships and passenger cabins. Another travel agency site that's recommended often is The Cruise People, based in the UK. Their site employs excessive clip art (which is to say, any clip art), but the info is extensive. They do have a Twitter account, so all hope is not lost.

So...you may still be asking yourself (hi, mom): Why? The Matador article pretty much nailed it: "You can travel almost anywhere by cargo ship. Just think: anywhere global commodities are shipped are places that you can disembark and spend time soaking up the local culture before re-boarding." Brett, author of Tripping Overland (a blog about circumnavigating the globe without stepping foot on an airplane), posted about his trans-Atlantic voyage and articulates many of the anti-establishment slash adventure sentiments that he and I share. The photo above is his, btw. Also, the ocean is the very definition of freedom. If you've ever been on a ship (commercial cruise liner in my case) in the middle of the giant Pacific under an endless sky, you know that the world is huge and anything is possible. Finally, why not? Even when I travel to well-worn destinations, my goal is always to experience local life off the beaten path. Sure, I've knocked out tourista must-sees all over the world, but that's just to snap the photo and get it out of the way. The romance is in getting lost (not lost in pirated waters on a cargo ship, mind you, but you know what I mean).

This is happening.

Love and little fishing villages,
me

Examining Creative Patterns + Myths

While I started my 2013 Happiness Project with the power word "abundance," it quickly sprouted a supplemental focus: creativity. I've been working my way back into creative spaces that come naturally for me, but that I had suppressed into a deficit. This focus has led me to take up the hobby of acrylic painting, it brought about an artistic collaboration with a dear friend, it put out enough energy that Craft Lake City called me in to concoct a guest blogger series, it has raised my frequency (as original badass Jen Sincero would say) and ushered in all sorts of goodness. However, over the last couple months, the concept of creativity has become negatively loaded. I think it built to a head after the Robert Fritz CREATING workshop. Parenthetical: No, the irony is not lost on me.

I've come to admit that when I overlay this renewed creative spirit onto my Type A Over-achiever personality, the pure joy of surrendering to generative energy gets lost a bit. Suddenly, my painting has to lead to something and will I sell at farmer's markets and how do I monetize the hobby and when will I possibly find time to paint every day when the light is right and I'm stuck in the office and how will I ever license my work to appear on iPhone cases and lumbar pillows and ... Hashtag scarcity mindset. I know. It's obvious. I'm even hyper aware of it the exact moment my brain spins out. But it still spins out.

In reflecting on how to get a handle on this, I realized that when I uncovered my second power word, I told myself that reconnecting with creativity meant I was now A Creative All The Time Like That Is My New Reality.

It doesn't work that way. As it turns out.

Reading a recent post by Danielle LaPorte was like getting smacked across the face with a You're Welcome reality check. "As artists," she writes, "we have patterns of creating. A way we typically make things happen. A style in which we pull ideas down from the ethers and put them into form." Wait. What? You mean my creativity can have it's own pattern? That means the Type A Over-acheiver pattern that I'm dragging home with me from a fierce day at the office does not have to be the same pattern that paints pretty pictures? Huh.

Seems obvious, right? Yeah, sure, it does now.

Danielle identifies a few creative patterns:

Pounds at possibilities like a stick on a piñata until it rains down candies of goodness.

Plods like an ox and patiently awaits the harvest.

Falls in love again and again with ideas and people and keeps falling in love every time.

Dances with harmony, always looking for the most beautiful solution and energetic alignment.

Moves mountains no matter what listening to heavy metal or Madam Butterfly cranked in the background.

I think I'm somewhere between falling in love and dancing with harmony. As a hippie dippie Libra who prattles on constantly about balance and the vibration of things, I think love and alignment are pretty accurate. I think there's more nuance to that - I can see myself in other patterns, and can even imagine patterns that she didn't write about - but it's a good place to start the investigation. In other words, I may move mountains to pound away at pinatas all day at work, but I think the core of my soul is far more gentle and carries a different energy entirely.

She goes on to say, "When you identify your Creativity Pattern you’ve got a very powerful opportunity: Change the way you get stuff done because it’s killing you, or keep mastering your tao of doing because it’s getting you beautiful results across the board." The paradox is that the mountain mover way I get stuff done at work and the way I achieved a MA, homeownership, national consulting career, my third passport, and being the boss lady all before age 30...works. But it works in a very one-dimensional way. When Danielle talks about getting results, the pinata pounding certainly gets results; however, it is simultaneously killing me. Figuratively, when we talk about my creative soul, and literally, when we talk about ignoring health concerns because I can't make a pit stop on the fast track to where the hell ever. My tao is somewhere in the love and alignment realm. That means, in practical terms, that I can't burn out at work all day and come home and expect my energy to align with an hour of painting simply because that's what Siri tells me is up next on the calendar. Which raises more systemic questions about my priorities and career, but that's another post entirely.

After Danielle's post cracked me wide open, the next resource came flooding in and showed me how to actually move forward with these ideas. I came across "Everything You Thought You Knew About Creativity Is Wrong" -- bingo. David Goldstein and Otto Kroeger published a book connecting the Myers-Briggs Type Indicators to creative patterns. Love it. They also identified five big myths about creativity:

Myth No.1:
Stepping outside your comfort zone is the best way to elicit creativity. {tweet}

Myth No.2: 
Brainstorming sessions are the best way to come up with brilliant ideas. {tweet}

Myth No.3:
Being creative means being spontaneous. {tweet}

Myth No.4: 
Creative people must invent something new. (tweet} 

Myth No.5:
Creativity means having a finished product. {tweet} 

In other words, Self, even though you've made incredible strides this year, you're hitting a threshold now because you've essentially been pounding away with the mis-guided belief that those five statements, to the letter, were how you needed to handle creativity. Myths. A revelation. Done.

Now it's time to create, or rather discover, my own creative pattern. It's also time to clickety click and read the kindle version of Goldstein & Kroeger's book. No more guilt. No more "I should be painting right now" and no more "I have to write that post tonight" -- find the pattern that will sustain me over the long haul.

Love and alignment,
me

If I'm honest about my dreams...

On the heels of my previous posts about studying and implementing the Structural Dynamics model of Robert Fritz, I feel compelled to take a public step toward owning my desired reality, to use Fritz's term. I've been mulling over these dreams to some degree or another for years now. In fact, people who have read this blog for any length of time will already know where I'm going with this. I've eeked out bits and pieces of these dreams along the way. However, not until this moment in time have they been so clear. 

Because of my 2013 Happiness Project, since January I've been able to crystalize previously vague-ish longings. The pubic aspect of sharing on this site, versus another offline brunch convo with my besties, serves a number of important outcomes: 1) Vulnerability isn't my strong suit (says the girl with a mostly-personal blog, I know) and I need to get over myself in that regard; 2) Accountability, perceived or legitimate, to anyone other than my own thoughts; 3) Support, because I know I'm far from alone in the pursuit of bold visions; 4) Culmination of these resources outside of my elaborate Evernote folders and tags. Consider this a meta bookmark of a small fraction of the ah-ha moments I've had recently; and finally, 5) I sincerely believe that all of these resources are "the magic" - in referencing again the work of Robert Fritz:

The resolution of the tension, and the action steps needed to move toward the desired reality, will all define themselves organically simply because you're holding the tension. You have to leave room for magic. Your job is to hold tension, and then say yes.

So here's the deal: I want to live abroad (ahem, Denmark) and enjoy a creative career and travel a lot a lot a lot. I was passionate about my current career for more than a decade. To be fair, I still am passionate about it in many ways; however, I've finally accepted that it can no longer sustain me in the way I want to be sustained and engaged in my life. Between the lines: I can no longer slug out 50-hour weeks and 6 hours of meetings every day that ultimately contribute to mere incremental, non-systemic change and a 1% cost of living raise every 3 years. I need creativity. I need flexibility. I need a career that fills me up and inspires me instead of draining my energy nearly every day. I need to wake up and take photos before checking my email on my own schedule in a coffee shop in Argentina.

Huffington Post's Third Metric project has been reporting on the trend of professionals leaning back from their current careers (as opposed to the now-infamous Lean In strategy a'la Sheryl Sandberg). The premise of the Third Metric conversation: "All the talk of "leaning in" at work ignores one reality: Many people in early stages of their career want flexibility and ownership at their jobs, not just a big job title or paycheck. Is it time to stop chasing promotions, and start enjoying life?" In the video below, Kim Dinan is particularly inspiring to me. I'm already half way through her book and I only bought it last night. I also love the conversation about money near the 15:00 mark. Here's a shorter snippet of the video, only highlighting the quit-your-job-and-travel guests.

Through the internet rabbit hole of clicking and stumbling, I also came across the gorgeous video embedded below. There are so so so many blogs, people, twitter accounts, and examples of bravery and wanderlust online. It's totally overwhelming. When I really think about it, though, even before all of that was reality I remember watching Long Way Round in 2004 and Long Way Down in 2007 and thinking: I need this. My first international trip to Russia in 1996, for that matter, set it off. Why I'm only just now getting serious about it, I don't know. Regardless, my RSS feed is now stuffed with blogs and travelogues of people who have gone before and lit the way, as it were. 

But what does it actually look like to take on this dream and make it happen? What does it really mean and how do I make it work? All the artsy vimeo videos in the world won't actually get me there, so now what? I know Robert Fritz would tell me to stop focusing on The How and instead only hold tension between where I am now and where I want to be, but damn. It's difficult to not at least try and answer The How of it all. I suspect that The Wireless Generation documentary, soon to be making the festival circuit thanks to a successful Kickstarter, is a giant nudge in the right direction.

Okay, Magic, let's go down that road then. I've been saying for quite a while now that if you mashup my key passions and skills - then try to assign them to a career - it basically comes out as some version of a traveler/writer/photographer/designer.  Throw in a BA in English, a MA in Community Leadership, and 11 years as a project/program manager turned higher-ed administrator...and...okay. So. Start there. Even with a wealth of online resources to make it happen smoothly, the idea of freelancing unfortunately scares me to the point of near paralysis (clearly something I need to get over, and quickly). Paralysis in tow, I still can't shake this desire out of my system: Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel (Rolf Potts). The idea of digital nomading feels so right to me. The Life Almost Fearless blog shared a post outlining the history of this career niche. That made it feel almost doable. I've read the post like 20 times at this point. Truth be told, I really just want Andrew Evans' job. I mean, come on. National Geographic's Digital Nomad? *sigh* The inspiration is endless. 

A drop in the bucket in my sea of my RSS feeds.

Now...what can I do about all this? I suck at being idle, and I think I might have been bored once for five minutes in 1989, so this has been percolating long enough. This guy seems helpful and I'd give him my money in exchange for his nuggets of wisdom. These two make it work, and the price is right, so I'll set aside the fact that they make me feel like a grandmother and probably try their course. But even those leaps feel premature. I think I found my next step in the Matador Network, specifically Matador U. I plan to pinch my pennies and take both the travel writing and the travel photography courses. Also, similar to the crowdsourced travel guides of Matador, I've been obsessed with AFAR for a while now. I have an application in hand to become the first (and for now, only) Local Expert for Salt Lake City. There's a meta intersection with all of this and I'm just trying to say yes, yes, yes to it all. While it has felt like an organic progression to this point, I also know I need to stop thinking and researching...and just do.

Love and magic and hard work, 
me

Creating: Implementing the work of Robert Fritz (part two)

My first post about exploring the work of Robert Fritz left off at the point of explaining his method for actually changing our life's structures and creating what we want for ourselves. The critical element of Structural Dynamics is Structural Tension, which is the method for creating. We have to be willing to formulate and hold a purposeful, carefully-calibrated, goal-powered tension. Tension, per the laws of nature, seeks resolution. Picture an archer's bow and arrow, or the pull of a rubber band in two opposing directions. Eventually, nature resolves tension.

The tension we're creating is between our desired reality and our current reality. In order to establish authentic tension, you have to 1) Be crystal clear about your desired reality and your goals; and 2) Be brutally honest about your current reality. You're establishing the end points of the rubber band, in essence, then you're going to stretch it and hold it. You may be holding this tension for a day and then it resolves, or you may be holding this tension for years...it all depends on what you're trying to create. The key is this: Your focus must be on the degree of your desire, not the degree of inevitable difficulty. You have to want it regardless of that difficulty and you have to commit to work toward it in spite of that. It's no longer about being comfortable, it's about creating what you want in your life. 

To describe your desired reality is to picture the results of achieving the goal, and picture them vividly, in present tense, the good and the bad aspects of the achievement. Quantify it and make it as specific as possible, but do not describe a process. Describe only a result. "I go to the gym five times a week" is a process. "I weigh (insert ideal) pounds" is a result. That result is the vision and desired reality. Also, and this was key for me to understand as a hyper-rational problem solver, don't solve problems in the statement of your desired reality. Do not frame your goal statement as a deficit you want to solve. Frame it positively as something new you love enough to bring into being. You're not fixing something. You're creating something new. 

To describe your current reality is to objectively name every current fact that is relevant to the desired reality. In relation to achieving the desired reality from your starting point, ask yourself: What do I know? What do I not know? Keep in mind that your current capacity is not your future capacity. You can grow into your goals. Don't get lost in the weeds of HOW to get to your goal, just describe your current reality as it objectively is in this moment. 

That whole business of not focusing on The How? That's terrifying to me. As an administrator who came through the ranks of project and program management, my professional life (and identity) is wrapped up all day every day in The How of problem solving and advancing toward fulfilling my organization's mission. This is different. Let that go. The resolution of the tension, and the action steps needed to move toward the desired reality, will all define themselves organically simply because you're holding the tension. The space in between the two ends of the rubber band will be flooded with The How if you can stay focused on the tension. I know we're wandering out into a flowered field of hippie dippie energy, but stick with me. You have to leave room for magic. Your job is to hold tension, and then say yes. 

To make all of this real for myself I tried to think of a time in my life that I used this tool of structural tension, albeit not yet knowing Fritz's language and models. I wanted to walk myself through the process and see what it actually looks like in the real world. I didn't have to think back very far, as it turns out. When I started 2013 I selected a power word (abundance) and launched The Happiness Project. Outside of hosting a monthly book group and cooking brunch with friends, the project has meant boiling down exactly what it is I need in and from my life in order to feel fully engaged and happy. Creativity has emerged as the dominant theme and, without really knowing it, I set up structural tension between my then-creative deficit and my desired state. Resources, websites, ideas, activities, collaborations, opportunities, communities, The How...it has all flooded into my life and started to resolve the tension and close the gap. And by "flooded" I mean to say it's almost overwhelming at times. I just hang on and keep saying yes. 

In fact, the desired reality has even upped its game since I first started this crazy year. "Creativity" was all I could eek out as I rounded the corner into spring (yes, spring, because I couldn't even name it when I kicked off the year...it defined itself); but now, what I actually mean by "creativity" has further defined and refined itself. I'm working on creating new tensions to move me toward new desired realities. That, folks, is an Advancing Structure of success. That is also what I plan to write about in my next post. It's not really a part three to all of this Robert Fritz stuff, but it is something that has been percolating in light of all his talk of "What do you want to create in your life?" 

Stay tuned. 

Love and beautiful tension, 

me